A DANE IN AMERICA: Embracing other cultures
By Lis King –
EDITOR’S NOTE: The Danish Pioneer Newspaper’s popular columnist Lis King was a journalist in her native Denmark. She has become a well-known writer in the USA, is the author of several how-to books and has written a novel. She is now living in Pennsylvania Dutch country. The Danish Pioneer thanks Lis for her interesting columns on being “A Dane in America”.
In America, we’re oh-so-careful not to offend somebody from another culture. Book after book on rules of etiquettes for “our changing society” are published, so we will know how to learn the no-no’s of every immigrant culture imaginable.
For example, don’t hug a Vietnamese when greeting him, and give a Portuguese a peck on both cheeks. It’s my experience that almost all Europeans kiss on both cheeks and if you stop at one, you often get a smack in the head as they come around for a second one. Don’t give an Iranian woman yellow flowers. It would mean that you hate her. And don’t give the thumbs-up sign to an Afghani. It means quite the opposite to him.
I think Danes – in fact, all Scandinavians – try as hard as Americans to embrace other cultures. After all, you now find people from around the world living in Copenhagen, Oslo, Malmø, and even Reykjavik, and God forbid that anybody should be able to find the native Scandinavians less than welcoming.
But – and this is a big “but” – I think us tolerant folks are getting the short stick in the “careful-not-to-offend” sweepstakes.
I remember dinner with a nice author from India. I went into a panic when I was told that he was a strict vegetarian. I finally came up with a meat-free curry dish. Similarly, I was visited by a young Danish couple and their two children. Both parents were vegetarian, I was forewarned, although she would occasionally eat fish. Their son loved burgers, and the little girl mostly ate pizza and cereal. They would stay for eight days, and I went into a tizzy trying to figure out how to accommodate these varying tastes. In the end, I cooked two varieties of lasagna the first night, one with meat, the other without, and the next day I took both parents and kids to the supermarket, telling them to pick out whatever they wanted.
Folks in other lands aren’t always as sensitive to our tastes. My neighbor, for example, told me about lunching with a business contact in a rural town in China. As my neighbor lifted his chopsticks to his lips, his Chinese host asked him, “You like dog?” Unwilling to offend, he took a bite as his host proudly told him that the dog was killed just half an hour earlier. “Very fresh,” he bragged. Knowing how much my neighbor cherishes his yellow lab, I don’t know how he got through that meal.
Danes are sophisticated travelers these days, but friends of mine from Kolding told me about being served raw cobra, deep-fried chicken feet and marinated insects in various exotic lands.
This doesn’t seem quite fair, so let me say this. Dear visitors from other lands, when you visit America and Denmark, we’ll try mightily to serve you things you can swallow. We’ll only serve you Texas Barbecue or smoked eel if you beg. On the other hand, when we visit you, don’t serve us sand flea mousse or fried rooster combs.
And when you move here permanently, by all means keep up your cultural heritage for your children’s sake, but give us a break once in a while. I’m sorry, Amy Chung, that I wore a white dress to your wedding. I thought that would be fine since Chinese brides wear red. I had no idea that white would represent death and funerals.
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